If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
