alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
