I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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