ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Randomize
