So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
