babies were throwing up all over the place
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
