Im at strip club and am horny
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize
