She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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