I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
