Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The police scanner is talking about you again....
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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