I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
