She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You ruined the universe
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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