My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
