...so i touched it.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
