i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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