i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
