Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
