That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
