you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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