Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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