Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
