Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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