so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
