I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
