insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
