Old men and throwing up are my life now.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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