There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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