it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
sex in a hospital.. check
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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