So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
