I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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