Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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