Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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