You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
