she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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