dude i'm inner monologue high
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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