Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
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begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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