That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize