its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
