handjob tips. give me some.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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