So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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