Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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