Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
