I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
