your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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