I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
