My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
