just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
