we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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