I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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