hotel room ftw
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
