omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I am midnight drunk by noon
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
