I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
