he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
do herpes really smell.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
