I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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