Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize