I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
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