My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
