She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
