worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize