so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize