So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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