ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
