Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Come see our sink grown plant.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
